Mike Myers
The Cat
Dakota Fanning
Sally Walden
Spencer Breslin
Conrad Walden
Kelly Preston
Joan Walden
Alec Baldwin
Larry Quinn
Amy Hill
Mrs. Kwan
Sean Hayes
Mr. Humberfloob / Fish (voice)
Danielle C. Ryan
Thing One
Taylor Rice
Thing One
Brittany Oaks
Thing Two
Talia-Lynn Prairie
Thing Two
Dan Castellaneta
Thing One / Thing Two (voice)
Victor Brandt
Narrator (voice)
Daran Norris
Announcer
Frank Welker
Nevins (voice)
Clint Howard
Kate the Caterer
Paige Hurd
Denise
Steven Anthony Lawrence
Dumb Schweitzer
Paris Hilton
Female Club-Goer
Candace Brown
Secretary
Stephen Hibbert
Jim McFinnigan
Roger W. Morrissey
Mr. Vompatatat
Norman Fessler
Mailman (uncredited)
Bugsy
Nevins