Mark Wahlberg
John Bennett
Mila Kunis
Lori Collins
Seth MacFarlane
Ted (voice)
Joel McHale
Rex
Giovanni Ribisi
Donny
Matt Walsh
Thomas
Jessica Barth
Tami-Lynn
Aedin Mincks
Robert
Bill Smitrovich
Frank
Patrick Stewart
Narrator (voice)
Norah Jones
Norah Jones
Sam J. Jones
Sam Jones
Tom Skerritt
Tom Skerritt
Bretton Manley
Young John
Ralph Garman
John's Dad
Alex Borstein
John's Mom
John Viener
Alix
Laura Vandervoort
Tanya
Robert Wu
Asian Man "Ming"
Ginger Gonzaga
Gina
Jessica Stroup
Tracy
Melissa Ordway
Michelle
Max Harris
Greenbaum Kid
Zane Cowans
Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice
T.J. Hourigan
Kid #2
Owen Clarke
Kid #3
Kristina Ellery
Heavenly
Katelyn Lorren
Cherene
Chanty Sok
Angelique
Sarah Fischer
Sauvignon Blanc
Cassie Djerf
Waitress
Joe Siriani
Guy at Table #1
Pat Shea
Guy at Table #2
Josh Duvendeck
Guy #1
Chris Cox
Guy #2
Henry Penzi
Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)
Tania Cabrera
Girl at Party
Colton Shires
Teenage John
Viera Andrea Moya
Plymouth PR Worker
Heajee Kim
Club Girl
Lydia Hannibal
Ellen
Shawn Thornton
Crazy Guy
Eric Weinstein
Stagehand
Danny Smith
Waiter
Mike Nikitas
Newscaster
Robin Hamilton
Female Newscaster
Mike Henry
Southern Newscaster
Johnny Lee Davenport
Husband
Chris Everett
Wife
Tara Strong
Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)
Ted Danson
Ted Danson (uncredited)
Ryan Reynolds
Jared (uncredited)
Olivia Jordan
Party Guest (uncredited)
Alexandra Creteau
Club Patron (uncredited)
Emmalyn Anderson
Concert Attendee (uncredited)
John Franchi
Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)
Ronald Boone
Liberty Mechanic (uncredited)